healing the 'whole' of us
unfracturing
In 2014/2015, my body seemingly decided to fall apart. I spent a lot of time at doctor appointments, saw multiple specialists, had lots of diagnostics - some more invasive than other, was placed on a couple of different medicines - one that landed me in the ER overnight with a nifty reaction, and not much that seemed to really be making a lot of impact.
I have huge respect for the medical profession. But after exhausting all the common and even less common approaches (and having to ‘fire a doc’ in the process), I sat down with my primary care and had a heart to heart. We decided, having ruled out all the biggies and major differentials, that the risk of further diagnostic tests was much greater than the potential answer from chasing zebras. So, we stopped.
I did lots of research and self-experiments. I decided to try anything (rational) from the literature for ~ 60 days. Chiropractic adjustment, acupuncture, Tai Chi, yoga, physical therapy, massage, myofascial release, trigger point release, dry needling, soaking, different fatty acids, mega doses of some vitamins, dairy free, gluten free, FODMAP free, etc. Later, I moved into Reiki and energy medicine, investigated my gut biome, gave up alcohol, and moved to a more vegetarian diet. I had to learn how to rest and nap and get enough sleep. And over time, several of these seemed to make significant impact. I kept those, and eliminated those that didn't seem to help.
And I learned a LOT in the process.
I learned that sometimes you just need to get the side effects under control before you can deal with the primary problem. I had to get some sleep and pain management before I could begin to take care of other things. I also learned that chronic pain can be so debilitating that you'll do a lot to dampen that pain. I am really grateful I wasn't pushed that far, but I could begin to understand how people could be pushed so far that they'd consider ending their life or be willing to risk an addiction to get rid of the pain.
I learned to keep going through doctors and medical professionals until I found some who listened and I could trust. I ended up leaning on my physical therapist and my primary care physician after I extracted myself from the rest of the medical system.
I also learned that you have to trust your own body. When I extracted myself from the majority of the medical system, I tried lots of things. Many didn't work. But, by listening to my body, I began to sort through things. This took time - again ~ 2 months for any one 'experiment'. So it has all been years in the making.
I really believe that there's someone/something directing things and people into our lives - if we pay attention. For me, Tai Chi, FODMAPs, and Reiki were just that. They came to me and then I researched them, I didn't research them first. It might feel like an odd coincidence, but I learned to trust those coincidences.
These learnings also opened my life in so many other ways. I began to work with my emotions. I became a facilitator and a coach. I opened my life to more creativity. I started to question those patterns and long-held beliefs I could see in my life that seemed to be consistent stumbling blocks. I landed into holding space and found a whole world of people who loved the depth and connection of meaningful conversations. I started receiving Reiki, then went through the trainings myself and felt a seed in me that had been waiting patiently (or not) for decades to sprout. Then I expanded into learning craniosacral and merging that and others. More tools, understanding, and application of the mind-body-emotion axis.
I began to recognize that along the way I had a gained a different set of friends. The people I hang around with now are substantially different than those I used to hang around with. I'm not sure what to make of that except to note that I'm pretty different now also. It is interesting to me that while trying to figure out the health issue, I made a lot of other changes in my life that have stuck and explored a lot of new opportunities. Some of those appear to be the clear stepping stones to the future. I like myself better as a human too. I seem to have better boundaries, I love to encourage my creative side, and am kinder and gentler with myself and hopefully others too. None of which I would have gone through if there had been a pill or surgery or other treatment that would have 'just made me better'.
I encourage you to trust your gut, your intuition, the coincidences in your life. Allow yourself to be ok with not being in the little boxes that others think you should stay in. And know that I am saying that last sentence to myself as much as I’m encouraging you.
We’re not just a physical body. We’re a body, infused with a spirit, that is wrapped around a piece of the divine. Healing is such an interconnected thing. That massage is just as much for the soul as it is for the muscles. And leaving that ‘thing’ (relationship, job, church) that is toxically eroding you, may be a more powerful healer for your body than all the best medicines.
If your health is unraveling or you're feeling stuck, I encourage you to listen to your body, emotions, and soul. There is an inner world which contains more peace, harmony, wholeness, completeness, wellbeing, and tranquility than is present in our outer world. May we let that inner, deeper connection be our guide on this journey.
[and, ps, about the meme. I have LOTS of respect for the medical field and health professionals. And I also think that the separation of medicine into 'real' medicine and 'alternative' medicine has been very damaging and has prevented some from getting the support that they and their bodies need. I also see that the separation and treatment of the physical body without considering and working with the emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies has been just as damaging.]
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