wrestling with the questions
art story
Wrestling. Acrylic on wood. August 2, 2018
This was painted during a season of deep questioning. A variety of things, over a number of years, had taken me further and further away from organized religions. Wrestling with those internal questions had left me wondering, ‘Was there actually anything beyond this life? Was there anything beyond me, anything bigger, anything divine?’
And so, I was painting. I had picked up a wood block and wanted to put a heart on it, but I wasn’t happy with just the ‘red on white’ look so I began to move the paint around with watery brushes. This is what emerged and I liked its visual texture. It felt like my wrestling, questioning heart.
Once it dried, I put it on a table across from my desk and would look at it while I was working on other things. On day, I noticed images, that seemed to be beings, within the heart. Within the heart that felt like my wrestling, questioning heart.
They felt other worldly and angelic and seemed to whisper, “go ahead and wrestle and question. We always have been, and always will be, right here with you on this journey. There is no answer you need to arrive at. The journey is the destination.”
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